


saudade

by hikaie



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Semi Epistolary, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 11:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9721925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hikaie/pseuds/hikaie
Summary: Jesse McCree takes contract work in Japan fresh off two tours in the army. He meets young playboy Genji Shimada- businessman by day, clubber by night. Their chance meeting will turn into a ten-year friendship, and an aching hole in Jesse's heart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WOW! This fic got... very, very incredibly away from me. Before I knew it I had 8k on my hands in what seemed like no time at all. The inspiration for this hit me a little out of nowhere. The prompts I had were Alternate Universe, travels/adventures, and caught in the rain. Also I got to squeeze in some epistolary, which I actually LOVE and have never done to it's true effect. Yay! Also, guess who, even after repeatedly reading how to post it, posted it incorrectly at first? oops
> 
> Just as a note, there are some sentences/phrases in here completely in italics that are supposed to convey the speaker is speaking in Japanese. It's neither here nor there in importance really, though!
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day to [solkattens](http://solkattens.tumblr.com/) over on tumblr! I hope this isn't too long and that you like it!

The bar is a dive; Jesse would know. It’s tucked into the awkward corner of a row of hobbled shops, sign a dingy yellow glow next to the neon signs lining the street. Foot traffic is heavy here- a group of 20-somethings swarm around and past him. Their voices are slurred and jubilant enough for him to know, past the language barrier, that there’s something worth celebrating themselves into oblivion.

He’s just had a long day, himself.

The door is heavy and grimy with sticker residue. A few men huddle together at a table, crowded with bottles and the evidence of a competitive game of gin. Other patrons sit at the bar, tired lines under their eyes and loose hands around their drinks. Two TVs mounted on the wall behind the bar play the evening news and a run of a recent soccer game. Jesse finds himself a seat at the far end, nodding a polite hello to the bartender and ordering a beer.

“ _You look tired._ ” He says as he sets the bottle in front of Jesse.

He racks his brain for a moment, chewing on the words to say “ _Am I that obvious?”_ His accent murders the words, but the barkeep huffs a laugh. The wrinkles in his face deepen when he smiles, knowing.

“ _It is my job to know when customers are tired. Tired men drink._ ” Jesse laughs, tilting his drink in acknowledgement to the joke. He’s left on his own then, the bartender attending to his other duties, and Jesse zones out on the news.

He’s two drinks deep, the late hour of the 11:00 news recounting what seems to be a house fire, when the front door to the bar bursts open. The man who stumbles inside has the indiscrete expression of youthful mischief written across his face, though he can’t be much younger than Jesse himself, if not the same age. When he approaches the bar, the bartender stands stiff at attention and asks after his order with extreme care.

“ _Anything_.” He waves his hand and slides onto the nearest available stool, limbs drunken-loose, expression now sedate. “ _A round for my friends._ ” He gestures down the length of the bar- Jesse, a businessman in his forties, and a woman in the familiar waitressing uniform of a nearby café. Jesse’s not one to turn down a free drink.

He surveys the newcomer; he’s got the flush of a man well into his cups, but he holds his liquor well. (Jesse figures, by the way he watches the soccer game on the flat screen, eyes alert and following the plays as quick as they happen.) His hair is a shock of neon-green, but his roots are coming through. What’s more telling is how he’s dressed, and how he’s served. His pants are so well fitting they must be tailored, and he’s draped in some sparkly club-wear on his torso. His eyes are accented in red and he’s got glitter in his hair. He doesn’t appear to belong in this establishment. Yet the bartender serves him top-shelf without being asked, in a rocks glass, neat. An irregular regular, then, like himself.

The man flicks his eyes over to Jesse, catching him in the act. He has the grace to blush and feel an immediate sense of dread at breaking such strict etiquette. However, the other man leans against the tile bar top and grins. Lowly, he asks, “ _Would you answer a question for me?_ ”

“Pardon?” Jesse blurts, forgetting himself. Before he can correct, the stranger laughs and repeats himself, this time in English.

“A question?” He waves in the direction of the ongoing soccer game.

“Well, I ain’t much of a sports fan, but I could give it a shot?” The man’s smile is dazzling. It’s drunken, and a little condescending, but flirtatious enough to have Jesse shifting in his seat. He’s struck by how pretty he is.

“No, no sports knowledge necessary. I confess, I cannot see the score. Are the Reds winning, or Gamba?

Jesse leans a little to the left and looks at the far screen. The scores are mostly-concealed by a chipped decorative statuette, but he has the superior angle.

“Looks like Reds, 1-0.”

“Ah, good.” He smiles again and thumbs the rim of his glass. “They _are_ always the safe bet.”

Jesse returns the smile, feeling awkward, and takes a drink from his beer. The other man turns his interest back to the game. He drinks with the speed and consideration of a man who knows his alcohol; as if he wants to savor the taste and activity. It seems at odds with his drunken state so early in the evening.

The bartender tops him off without being asked. He turns again to Jesse as he takes another sip. “You seem far from home, cowboy.”

“Pardon?” He asks, for a second time that evening. He denies another beer and requests a water instead.

“Your accent.” The man props his chin on his hand, looks at him with considering eyes. They’re a brown that seems almost black in the low light of the bar. “The way you dress. You are from the American south, yes?”

Jesse laughs. “Who’s to say?”

The other’s eyebrows shoot up, and he cocks his head. He has the look of someone not often called on their shit, and Jesse has always been the type. “Who, indeed.” He straightens in his seat and tilts his head in deference. “Forgive me, I have been quite rude. I am Genji. What is your name?”

Jesse smiles and glances down at the bar, bowing his head minutely in return. “Name’s Jesse. It’s a pleasure.” When he offers his hand, the other takes it, shaking with more strength that Jesse would’ve pegged him for.

“The pleasure is all mine. Now that we are properly acquainted, may I ask where you are from?”

Jesse laughs- it’s loud, deep, the kind that’s out of place here in this quiet, laidback bar. Nobody spares him a glance, but the man in front of him grins. “Tennessee.”

Genji spreads his hands as if to say _see?_ “Perhaps not a cowboy then, but close enough.”

“Close enough.” Jesse agrees, shaking his head but smiling nonetheless. “And yourself?”

Genji smiles again- it never seems to leave his lips, in fact, some sly smile or another. He slides from the stool, holding himself more gracefully than Jesse would have expected. “We must keep some mystery about us.” He leans heavily against the bar to say this, near conspiratorially, before pushing off and heading for the door. His stagger is half-affected, Jesse would wager, but there’s no shame in his game. His eyes follow the sway of his hips, and his stare lingers on the door long after it has closed behind Genji.

* * *

 

It is not the last time that Jesse sees Genji. The man crops up often at his favorite haunt. Their bar banter is the usual kind- the news, the current game on the screen, or their choice of alcohol. Jesse’s been feeling like there’s an undercurrent of something more. Genji is certainly one of the biggest flirts he’s ever met. The man never makes a move on him, though.

He introduces Jesse to Hanafuda after being bested at gin one too many times. They spend many a night in one of the corners of the bar, Genji ripe off a streak of clubbing, yet beating Jesse at near every hand.

“Ya damn cheat!” He hisses after a particularly heated round. Genji laughs, slouching in his seat with the magnitude of it.

“How could I cheat? And do not act as if you did not cheat at gin.” He sips his whiskey and rounds up the cards, shuffling quick and effortless. “Another game?”

“My last with you, ya filthy con.” Jesse slaps another note on the table and glowers as Genji deals out the cards, ever-present smile on his face. Jesse wrinkles his nose at the cards. His frustration had gotten the better of him early on in the night, and he’s admittedly far too drunk to concentrate on the mechanics of the game. He thumbs a willow card and Genji tuts.

“Don’t need no help.” He sneers, making the move. (Genji, of course, beats him.)

“I think we should call it a night.” Genji announces after their final hand. Jesse glares at the cards as they’re swept away, his mind unable to keep up with whatever underhanded moves Genji had pulled off to beat him.

“The hour never stopped ya before.” He’s sure if he plays one more hand, he could finally wrap his head around it. Maybe.

“No, but I do not think we will be allowed to stay here after they close.” He jests. Jesse blinks and looks around- the rest of the patrons have long since cleared out. The bartender has begun to close up around them, seemingly in no rush to get them out. Genji, however, is packing his cards away and clearing their table of excess bottles. Where had the time gone?

They leave together. Even drunk, he doesn’t miss the generous tip Genji leaves the barkeep. The streets are quieter at this hour. Jesse focuses intently on walking straight; he can handle his alcohol fine, but he’s tired and he’d definitely not paid enough attention to the amount he was drinking. Genji- the devil that he is- places a hand on Jesse’s elbow. He seems sober as ever, or at least no worse for wear than usual when he’s been drinking.

“May I help you back to your home?” Jesse grunts in acceptance. They shuffle through the streets, and the walk to his apartment seems awfully long. He sobers a little on the long, gentle incline leading up the block to his building. Genji is a confident weight at his side.

“Y’live nearby?”

His friend grins. “Why do you ask, cowboy?”

“Just seems impolite for y’ta walk a long ways back, just’ta walk me home.” Genji huffs a laugh, and his fingers squeeze reassuringly on Jesse’s arm.

“Do not worry about me.” Jesse looks down at him. His hair is disheveled, sweat and hair poduct and the cool night breeze doing their work well. His makeup is creased after so many hours of wear, and from this angle Jesse can see glitter behind his ear. Still, he manages to look unbearably attractive, and he has that sly little grin on his face. He looks like he could keep going on empty, until the sun came up or longer. Jesse feels suddenly so much older than he is, fatigue hitting him like a thousand bricks.

When they reach his apartment, he struggles with his keys until Genji slides in to help. His friend makes sure he’s inside, and reminds him to drink water before he leaves. Jesse locks up behind him and makes his way through the small apartment to his bedroom.

He can’t be assed with a shower, or with a proper change of clothes. He shucks off his pants and unbuttons his shirt, leaving them strewn on the floor in his wake. He falls into his bed without adjusting the blankets, merely lets the sheets swallow him, cold and empty.

* * *

 

Genji cajoles Jesse into joining him at a pachinko parlor the following weekend. Jesse’s had one hell of a week at work; what he’d really like to do is nurse a beer by himself at the bar, but Genji’s not the type to take no for an answer. He even appears to have made Jesse his first stop- he’s lacking his usual club attire and mid-binge stagger. It’s odd, in fact, to see him in dressed down business clothes- slacks, white collared-shirt, and hair neatly gelled back.

“Do you ever take a weekend off?” Jesse complains. Genji walks briskly down the sidewalk. Neon and fluorescent lights reflect off his skin. “Dunno how you party so much.”

“I could ask the same of you, Jesse-san.” The noise level begins to increase the closer they get into the entertainment district. Genji’s face and demeanor are no different than usual- easygoing, devil-may-care Casanova that he is. But his shoulders are a tense line as he navigates the street traffic ahead of Jesse.

“I just go out for a few drinks.” He defends himself. “Not dancin’ and gamblin’ my nights away.”

“Ah, so the 25.000Y you lost playing koi koi last week was…?” He looks over his shoulder at Jesse, smug and accusing all at once.

“Now you listen here-”

“We have arrived!” Genji stops short and Jesse nearly barrels into him. The parlor sings with lights and electronic pings. Rows upon rows of machines line the room, what feels like hundreds, and most are occupied. Genji considers the room, walking them up and down the rows before settling on some machines tucked into the back corner. He places his hands on Jesse’s shoulders and sits him down, walks him through the basics.

He has to lean in to be heard over the cacophony of the parlor, breath teasing over Jesse’s ear. He pulls the knob as instructed, watches the ball zing through the machine. It darts back and forth between pegs before falling into a catcher at the bottom. The machine pings sadly.

“Next time.” Genji near shouts into his ear, but it just makes Jesse shift on the stool.

Genji takes the machine to his right. Jesse admits he doesn’t find the appeal in pachinko- it’s like a mix of pinball and an arcade game, except the balls are more cumbersome than tickets. He does find that he can smoke, however, and he enjoys spending time with Genji, no matter how much he’s been trying to _not_. His time here is limited by his contract, and Genji doesn’t seem like the type for commitment. Jesse’s not above something casual, but the more time he spends with the man, the more he comes to enjoy him for who he is as a person, and the more he wars with himself on what to _do_ about it. He suspects Genji wouldn’t be against him making a move, and furthermore doesn’t know whether that’s a good sign or a bad one.

At the end of their play- rather, another twenty minutes after Jesse refused to pay out for any more balls- they have their balls counted. Genji hands him one and pockets one for himself, winking at him. Genji encourages him to join their counts- together still not enough for the special prize, but enough for a zippo that Genji toys with constantly as they walk the streets later that night.

“Gonna tell me why we kept these?” Jesse holds out his hand, pachinko ball swirling in his open palm.

“It’s a tradition of mine.” Genji admits. There’s something… private, about the smile he shares with Jesse, moreso than any before it. “I take one from every parlor I visit. I have quite the collection.” He tilts his head, and that cocky grin is back. “Perhaps I could show you sometime.”

Jesse wants to ask him if he woos everyone like this- drinks, cards, late night pachinko and walking him home when he’s had too much. The temptation of a pachinko ball collection the veil for something else. But he’s just as silent as he ever is when they part ways tonight. Part of Jesse doesn’t want to know.

* * *

 

They bump into each other at lunch.

It’s weird to see one another during the day. Jesse has his hair pulled back into a neat ponytail, and he’s looking over a file as he indecisively picks at his curry. When he catches sight of Genji, it’s only due to his hair. He’s otherwise the perfect picture of a businessman, from the shined shoes to the perfectly pressed suit. His face lights up when he sees Jesse, and he comes to greet him as he waits for his food.

“It is no good to be hard at work during your lunch hour.” He claps a hand on Jesse’s shoulder, eyes tracking the papers Jesse condenses back into their folder. He shrugs.

“Not much I can do ‘bout it, I’m afraid.” He gestures at the seat across from him. “You’re welcome to join me.”

“Ah, now that would be a pleasure, but I must return to the office soon.” He makes the universal expression which colloquially expresses ‘I’d rather die.’ “I thought I would use this chance to get some fresh air, so I begged off my assistant to let me takeaway lunch.”

“The office, huh? Sure lookin’ sharp.” Jesse settles back into his seat, gives him a once over. Genji smiles at him knowingly. “Wouldn’t’ve expected a guy like you to be so business minded.”

“I am a man of many talents, Jesse-san. As are you, it seems.” He taps on the folder.

“Jus’ contract work. The paperwork ain’t the half of it, but it’s a necessary evil.”

“What kind of contractual work?” Genji tilts his head in consideration. He really is quite the picture in that suit.

“Oh, somethin’ an old army buddy got me into. After I got outta the service I needed somethin’ to do. Too much sittin’ around’s bad for a man like me.”

“Oh yes, you strike me as the type to always be in motion.” He doesn’t even try to feign the sarcasm in his tone. Jesse sneers at him.

“I’ll have you know-”

The intercom calls a number and Genji perks up, turning towards the counter. “Ah. That is me. Right on time.” He smiles at Jesse and begins to side-step away. “We should continue this conversation. Tonight? The usual place?”

“It’s a Wednesday.” Jesse protests weakly.

Genji laughs, and doesn’t that just _hurt,_ the clear intent of that sound. “Learn to live a little spontaneously. I will see you tonight, my friend.”

* * *

 

“Y’ain’t told me much ‘bout yourself.” Jesse says as he takes his turn dealing for a new hand of gin. He shuffles quick and easy and lets the cards go with an expert flick of his wrist. Genji is taking the break to scroll through his phone, his other hand hovering around his tumbler. It’s a moment longer before he raises his eyes from the screen, smiling apologetically.

“Forgive me. I am afraid, were I more forthcoming, you would find me boring.” He sets his phone down and takes a drink before picking up his cards.

“Nonsense.” Jesse thumbs through his own hand, rearranging the cards to his desires. “Y’get me drunk and ramblin’ in here enough nights. Time to ‘fess up.”

The other man looks thoughtful. He draws from the deck and discards without a play. Jesse looks at him from across the table, refusing to break eye contact even as he plays, relying on his periphery. Genji relents with a huff of laughter.

“I am a businessman. You know this.” Draw. Discard. Rearrange. “I work for my father’s company. I oversee an array of employees in a department that handles stocks and accounts.” He frowns, brow dimpling just-so above his nose. He sets out a set of three nines and discards a seven. “I am 25. I grew up here, in Kyoto, although I attended university in Osaka.”

“That’s not too far, huh?” Jesse plays a six off of Genji’s clubs.

“No, not at all.” He seems to consider his next few words. “It was far enough. It was good to get away, for a while. I have an older brother, you see.”

“Ha. Yeah.” Jesse takes a drink from his beer. “Kinda know what that’s like.”

“You have siblings as well?”

“Well.” Jesse scratches at his jaw. He’d cut himself shaving the morning before and it’s itching something fierce. “Uh. I got a foster sis?” He looks up at Genji then, to gauge his reaction.

The smile on his face knocks the breath out of Jesse. It’s warm, considering. He raises his eyebrows, nods at Jesse. “Ah?”

“Yeah, uh,” He fumbles with his cards, sets them aside while Genji plays to grasp at his beer. “We were in a few homes together. Last one, together, actually.”

“What is she like, then?”

“Thorn in my side.” He chuckles. “Annoying. Too smart for her own good.” He smiles sadly.

“Yes, you would know what it is like, then.” Genji plays a set and calls out. Jesse blinks, looks at the cards in his hand and the ones on the table.

“You- How-”

“You didn’t think you’d keep beating me forever, hm? Not with all those tells you have.”

“I do not have tells!”

Genji’s laughter is _bright_.

* * *

 

The end of Jesse’s contract seems to approach at a crawl, and then out of nowhere the day is there. The paperwork has long been filed and he’s left with a flight to book and an apartment to pack up. He feels a little helpless with his time now that he’s got two weeks to fill up. Friday night drinks suddenly feel like precious time, and he fights with himself all week on what to do about _the situation_ at hand. He doesn’t know if he wants to ruin a good thing, or leave with a bang. Maybe quite literally. Hell, he’s not sure he’s even been reading the signals right- Genji flirts with anything that moves.

That weekend he has a drink already waiting for his friend when he arrives. He comes in like a controlled storm, glitter and mesh and tight leather pants. When his eyes fall on the glass, he grins bright and happy at Jesse and thanks him.

“Could I convince you to leave this place?” Genji props his chin on his hand and flutters his lashes. He has green eyeliner tonight, neon metallic and sharp. “ _I’m starved._ ”

“Hah. Sure.” Jesse waves over the bartender to close out his tab. “Though I don’t know what’ch’re after this late.”

“Silly. You do not get out enough.” Genji loops his arm around Jesse’s arm, leans into him a bit heavily. He’s definitely drunker than usual, but Jesse figures he’ll feel better after they get some food into him.

“I get out plenty.”

“Yes, drinking on the weekends at the same bar.” He laughs and looks up at Jesse. The way he turns has him pressing his cheek into Jesse’s bicep, the angle making his eyes look sultry as he looks at Jesse from underneath full lashes. “You are some big partier.”

“Well, we can’t all be like you.” He looks away, the eye contact doing disastrous things to his head and heart both. Genji finds his words extremely funny, seemingly, because he laughs long and hard.

“No, it would seem not.” He tugs on Jesse’s arm and leads him down a side street, pulls up short outside a ramen shop. Jesse tries not to feel the sting of him pulling away to duck under the short curtains. He finds a stool and pats the one beside him.

“Join me.” Jesse does. The leather is worn and the stool squeaks as he settles onto it. A mix of scents hit him, savory and smoky and heady. Genji orders for them both then swivels around on his chair, looking at Jesse. “How are you, _my friend_?”

Jesse smiles, quick and small. “Never been better. Ain’t done much this week. I got a week’a freedom ahead of me.”

“Is that so?” Genji tilts his head, palms his chin again. “Vacation?”

“Uh,” He scratches the scuff on his jaw anxiously. “My contract’s up, actually.”

“What will you do for work?” Genji asks. The way he leans against the counter pulls the neckline of his shirt down, reveals the taut line of his throat all the way down to his collar. Jesse swallows.

“Well, I gotta go back home. To America, that is.”

Genji blinks, and leans back from the counter. “Oh.”

Their food comes, then- two sizable bowls, steaming, the scent making Jesse’s stomach growl. Genji wipes the stunned expression from his face, lapsing back into that familiar smile. He digs into his food with as much fervor as his proclamation of being _starving_ had promised, builds the conversation back up into their usual casual chatter. Jesse can’t help but look at his smile and wonder if any of the one’s preceding it had been as plastic as this one.

* * *

 

It’s well into the night by the time they leave. Genji finds his place at Jesse’s side again, hand firm on his arm but walking steadier now. He leads them through a tangle of streets, talking animatedly as they go. Jesse is so absorbed he hardly notices being led into a residential area, lights low and yellow, apartments rising higher into the air. The shrubbery here is nice, the streets cleaner. He’s walked Genji home- rather, been escorted to Genji’s home by the man himself. He resists just slightly when Genji stops at a stoop.

“Aren’t you coming?” The man asks, detaching himself to walk up the steps. Jesse hesitates, but follows. Genji buzzes in, and Jesse freezes in the entryway.

Genji quickly notices his presence, or lack thereof, and turns around to smile bemusedly at him. “Don’t just stand there.”

“I don’t think we should do this.” Jesse blurts. He’s not sure where that came from, exactly, because he sure as hell hasn’t formed a 100% honest opinion on this with himself.

Genji’s eyebrows raise. “Ah.” His face doesn’t fall- he’s more sober now, obviously has more of a handle on himself than Jesse does in this moment. “I misread. I apologize.”

“No, you-” Jesse starts, stops off with a click in his throat and an awkward shuffle. “Gen, there’s nothin’ more’n I’d like to do than follow you up to your apartment and let you wreck me.”

At this, the other man’s face does fall. It opens up, a little suspicious, but the smallest, smuggest smile on his mouth. Don’t his cheeks ever hurt? “Then why don’t you?”

“I really… really like you.” Jesse shoves his hands into his pockets, pulls his shoulders in. A nervous habit he hasn’t adopted in a long time. “I don’t wanna leave it like this.”

“Who says we have to leave it?” Genji crosses the small lobby towards him, places a hand on Jesse’s forearm. His touch feels like a livewire- his entire being does, drawing Jesse’s attention from that first drunken, shimmery tumble into that dive bar. Their dive bar.

“I only got a week left.” Jesse protests.

The fingers at his wrist press firmer, curl around to hold, Genji leaning up and into his space. For a moment Jesse fears he’s going for a kiss, but he just leans in against his neck, noses along his jaw. His lips are so close to Jesse’s skin they’re just a whisper of soft flesh-on-flesh. “It could be a very good week.”

There’s no mistaking every loaded suggestion that the sentence entails, and Jesse shudders at it, a full-body shake. “Sugar…”

They do kiss, then; all it takes is the slight tilt of Genji’s head. His kiss is like a fire, all-consuming, burning hot. He kisses like he means it, the steadiness of his hands pinning Jesse in place, the heat of his mouth enticing him to move in defiance of it. He tastes like alcohol and spice and skin, smells like sweat and faded cologne. It’s all so intense and heady, Jesse gasps when Genji pulls back. He switches gears, mouthing at the line of Jesse’s jaw, which can’t be all that comfortable, but he does it with a fervor and an expertise that has Jesse weak in the knees.

“Come back to my apartment with me.” Genji asks, lips sinful against his neck.

“I _can’t_.” Jesse all but whimpers.

“You can.” His hands slide up Jesse’s chest, over his shirt, exploratory, his skin breaking out in goosebumps. “You should.” He says this right against Jesse’s lips, then sucks on his lower lip until Jesse shakes.

“Genji, please,” He manages to get his hands on his shoulders, push him back just enough. “I can’t. God, I wanna. But I can’t.”

Genji’s mouth is kiss-swollen, red and enticing and Jesse wants to _cry_ from it. He has to be out of his right mind to deny Genji- and _himself_ \- this. He sweeps his hands up Genji’s neck, cups his face, thumbs at the swell of his bottom lip. “You understand, right?”

“Not really.” Genji says, voice rough. Jesse gives him a soft, accusatory expression. Genji deflates, turns his face against Jesse’s palm. His response is muffled into his skin. “Yes.”

Jesse swallows and sways on his feet. Against his better judgment he leans in to kiss him one more time, slower and deeper given the upper hand. Genji makes a pleased noise into his mouth that does all the right (and worst) things for him. He pulls back and releases him, breathing hard.

“I’ll see you next weekend. One last drink, got it?”

Genji licks his lips. “One last drink.” He agrees.

Jesse watches him walk away.

* * *

 

“You saved me a seat.” Genji jests as he slides onto the chair next to Jesse. The entire bar is empty, save for them. His voice is hoarse, as it often is after he’s been out all night.

“Had’ta fend people off for that one.” Jesse plays along. The barkeep approaches, and Genji orders an ice water of all things.

“Long night?”

Genji laughs, that little huff that sounds realer than anything. “When has it not been?”

“You promised me a last drink.” Jesse reminds him, gesturing with his beer bottle.

“Yes, well.” Genji sips his water. “I will switch when it is our last drink. I will make the time count.” There is a moment of pregnant silence, only disturbed by the quiet drone of the evening news and a replay of a tennis match on the flatscreens.

“You will keep in touch, cowboy?” His voice is soft, uncharacteristically so.

“…If you want.” He shifts in his seat, uncomfortable, emotion simmering under his skin.

“I do.”

“Then, yeah. ‘Course I will.” Jesse looks at him, makes sure he understands he really means it. Genji smiles. Jesse knows- this one means something.

“ _Bartender_.” Genji calls. “ _A bottle of your finest, and two glasses, please_.”


	2. Chapter 2

Postcard featuring a string of decorations and a piñata set against a night sky. Script font reads “Beautiful Dorado” Postmarked 18 Nov 2070. Text on back reads,

“Genji,

Thought between e-mails a card might be nice. My sis and I are here on some family business. Found this in a shop full of kitschy tourist shit. I know you're supposed to send postcards as is, but I thought I'd throw in this trinket. Put it on your desk, annoy your brother.

-J.M.”

Included, one piñata bobble.

* * *

 

11:43:07 3 Feb 2071  
From: [jmccree34@yahoo.com](mailto:jmccree34@yahoo.com)  
To: [shimadagenji@shimadaind.com](mailto:shimadagenji@shimadaind.com)  
Subject:

Hey,

I know it's been awhile. I've got an excuse, swear it! Ain't real fun. Kinda stupid, in fact. Last couple of months have been a real experience to say the least. Me and Som got back from Mexico, decided to go see dad back in Tennessee. Me and him went on our own family trip. Two experienced guys like us, yanno. Camping and whatnot. God I don't even know how to say this? Short and less gory of it is uh. Lost my left arm. Made it through two tours in the army with the damn thing and I lost it camping. Real good thing dad was there- kept a level head when I couldn't. Dunno how he even did it.

I've been outta the hospital about a month now. Looking into prosthetics and rehab and. God, Gen. I don't even know what I'm doing. I've typed this whole e-mail with one hand and everytime I think about it. Well. Shit. I don't want to think about it, really.

Let me know how you are. How's business, and your brother? Been awhile since your last e-mail, too. Congrats on the big pachinko win. Add to that collection, huh? I still got the one from when we went.

Jesse

* * *

 

Postcard featuring the London Eye on the water front. Script font reads “Wish you were here!” Postmarked 23 Aug 2072. Text on back reads,

Gen,

Been awhile since I've heard from you. Hope this finds you well. I'm here seein' an old friend. She's gettin' married. Told her wife-to-be dunno how she puts up with her but Lena's damn lucky. This was while they were givin' me a tour, and conveniently lost me. Picked this up for you along the way. Just thought I'd let you know,

thinking of you  
Jesse

* * *

 

19:21:11 3 Jun 2073  
From: [jmccree34@yahoo.com](mailto:jmccree34@yahoo.com)  
To: [shimadagenji@shimadaind.com](mailto:shimadagenji@shimadaind.com)  
Subject:

Gen,

Haven't heard from you in a good while, but I thought you'd like to know. I got another job in Japan. It's not quite in the same place, but close enough that if you wanted, that maybe, we could meet up. Have a drink for old time's sake. Dunno if you'll reply, given how long it's been at this point. Let me know.

Jesse

* * *

 

3:32:54 4 Jun 2073  
From: [genjis43@gmail.com](mailto:genjis43@gmail.com)   
To: [jmccree34@yahoo.com](mailto:jmccree34@yahoo.com)  
Subject:

Jesse,

I would love to have a drink with you. Unfortunately, I am no longer in the area. I know it has been some time since we last talked. I apologize. Circumstances out of my control have changed some things. Is there any chance you'll be in the area of Nepal in the future?

Genji

* * *

 

11:33:24 18 Sep 2074  
From: [jmccree34@yahoo.com](mailto:jmccree34@yahoo.com)   
To: [genjis43@gmail.com](mailto:genjis43@gmail.com)  
Subject:

Hi again,

Zenyatta has really been up to no good, huh? The way you talk about him, I'd think he was a child instead of a monk. Ex-monk? Still, all those pranks, but you do fall for each one. Love the guy and I don't even know him. Hey, and remember, if y'all need anything, let me know. I know people all over. I know you're on some important spiritual journey that facilitates hardship, or somethin', but it's okay to let people help out every once in awhile.

I'm headed to Switzerland for awhile. Know someone up there who's a real wiz- she's gonna check out my arm for me. Make me a real bionic man and all that. Should be set up in some work, too. Ain't lookin forward to that cold.

J

* * *

 

8:16:58 22 Apr 2075  
From: [jmccree34@yahoo.com](mailto:jmccree34@yahoo.com)   
To: [genjis43@gmail.com](mailto:genjis43@gmail.com)  
Subject:

Genji,

Back home at last! Didn't realized how much I missed it. Only downside I can think of is beer just don't taste right, over here, now. Stayin' with dad awhile. Ain't had my own place in years, after all. I think he needs it, anyway. He's always been grumpy, in a kinda Red Foreman way, but he's gettin' downright ornery. Don't blame him. He won't admit to it but I know he's in pain most days. I try and help out. Found myself with a lotta free time. Might start goin to the range again, haven't had my proper revolver in my hands in too long.

Tell Zen I say hello, and to lighten up on you once in awhile. He sure gives you a run for your money. But I guess someone has to, or you'd be getting away with murder at every turn.

Glad he's there to keep you in check.

Jesse

* * *

 

17:52:46 20 Dec 2076  
From: [jmccree34@yahoo.com](mailto:jmccree34@yahoo.com)   
To: [genjis43@gmail.com](mailto:genjis43@gmail.com)  
Subject:

Happy holidays!

Dunno what it's like for y'all but it's damn cold here and the house is too loud. I snuck out to smoke and I'm writing this real quick on my phone. Dad'd be pissed if he knew I was smoking, but what he don't know won't hurt 'im.

Stay warm,  
Jess

* * *

 

Postcard featuring the logo of an OASIS resort chain. Postmarked 21 Mar 2077. Text on back reads,

Genji,

It's so damn hot here. My friends need to stop getting married in places where the weather disagrees with my comfort. And the sand... I couldn't even tell you what it's like on this arm.

I've talked too much about you. Ana wants to meet you. If she wants it, it'll happen. Good luck.

-Jess

P.S. i got you something. check your e-mail. i know you forget

* * *

 

14:32:17 22 Mar 2077  
From: ticketing@tixmaster.com  
To: [genjis43@gmail.com](mailto:genjis43@gmail.com)  
Subject: Your Itinerary

31 MARCH 2077

KTM TRIBHUVAN INT AIRPORT  
**DEPARTURE** 10:00 AM  
  
EBL ERBIL INT AIRPORT  
**ARRIVAL** 12:45 PM  
  
7 APRIL 2077

EBL ERBIL INT AIRPORT  
**DEPARTURE** 7:00 AM

KTM TRIBHUVAN INT AIRPORT  
**ARRIVAL** 3:15 PM

NOTES:  
I need a date. –J

THANKS FOR CHOOSING TIXMASTER.


	3. Chapter 3

“You cannot be serious.”

It’s the first thing Genji says to him when he picks up the phone. No “hello” or “I apologize for the later hour” or “No, after a year of radio silence, I didn’t lose your phone number.”

“Hnnh?” He grunts into the receiver and fumbles around on the nightstand for the lamp.

“This is not a real ticket. You are playing a very elaborate prank on me, Jesse McCree, and I do not appreciate it.”

He finds the switch and winces, hides his face in his pillow and laughs. “Sugar, I assure you, s’the real thing.”

“Take it back.” Genji’s voice is stern. There’s an edge to it- more serious than Jesse has heard in years. He sits up against the pillows a bit and sighs into the phone.

“Y’really want me to?”

“I cannot come to this.”

“You got plans?” Jesse pushes.

“Not exactly. You know I do not.”

“S’actly. So come to this wedding with me. You know Fareeha. She’s like a little sister to me. And Ana’s dyin’ to meet ya.”

“Jesse.” Genji’s voice is soft, serious and heartbroken in equal measures. “You know… You know I cannot.”

“Y’can’t stay holed up forever.” Jesse plays with a loose thread in the comforter. “Forget about Fareeha. And Ana. _I_ really wanna see you. And I can promise ain’t no one gonna be starin’ at you over the brides, ‘cept maybe me.”

A soft laugh meets his ears. “Are you so sure that you want to see me?”

“Of course.”

“Even-”

“Gen, you get on the damn plane, you come see me. Y’ain’t gotta go to the wedding. Just come see me.”

“You sure do like to drive a hard bargain.”

“I’ll be at the airport to pick you up. Wear somethin’ pretty.” Genji laughs quietly.

* * *

 

It’s hot outside the terminal, sun beating down fiercely, dry wind doing nothing to alleviate the sting. He keeps his left arm tucked against his side, in the shade of his body against the car. People bustle in and out of the sliding doors, there’s the sound of rolling wheels and yells and cars opening and closing. He squints through the crowd.

Genji comes through the doors at around one, a duffle slung over one shoulder. He has a beanie on and the most ostentatious sunglasses Jesse has ever seen. Jesse lifts his sign over the crowd and watches as Genji catches sight of it, quickly working through the congested area.

“Hey, stranger.” Jesse says when he’s right in front of him. Though he can’t tell where he’s casting his gaze, Genji smiles. It’s just like he remembers- self-assured, and just this side of flirtatious. It hasn’t changed, even if his face has.

“Hello, Jesse.”

“Lemme get that for ya.” He grabs the duffle and rounds the car. He taps on the window as he goes, so the trunk is already popped when he gets there. When the luggage is all stowed away, he turns to look at Genji. He can’t help the smile that splits his face.

“It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to be here.” His tone sounds genuine. He’s wearing a ¾-sleeve shirt, boat neck. Loose linen pants. Not what Jesse would have expected, but he’s not complaining. He looks good in almost anything, he’s convinced. Genji tilts his head towards the vehicle.

“Should we get out of here?”

“Yeah, ‘course.” He opens the door and lets Genji get in first, closes it behind him and rounds the car to join him inside. The cab driver pulls away from the curb with a jolt. Jesse looks over at Genji.

He’s removed his sunglasses. The windows are tinted, but there’s light enough to see the scars that mottle his face. There’s more significant damage to the left side, but the right has it’s fair share as well. The scars travel down under the collar of his shirt, and if Jesse looks, he’d see them on his left wrist as well. His right…

“We match, huh?” Jesse holds up his hand and, with great effort, wiggles his prosthetic fingers. Genji smiles and does the same with his right.

“I am afraid I have you beat.” He pulls at the legs of his pants, the elastic hems sliding easily up to reveal his legs. The prosthetics stop somewhere, Jesse assumes, at mid-thigh, beneath the bunched up fabric of his pants. Jesse tilts his head and considers them.

“Not havin’ anymore problems with ‘em, since I sent you to Angie?”

“Ah, no.” Genji smiles and begins pushing his pantlegs back down. “Dr. Ziegler has them running at peak performance. She is really quite the miracle worker.”

“Don’t I know it.” He shifts in his seat. “Zen good?”

“Zenyatta is doing very well. Thank you for asking.” Genji smiles at him. It’s new- not the kind Jesse was used to seeing all those years ago. It’s soft, content, open. Then he turns away and looks out the window, and Jesse feels the loss of it.

“Hey, Gen?” The other man hums in acknowledgement. “Thank you. For comin’.”

He looks over at him then, that same gentle smile. “Thank you for having me, Jesse.”

* * *

 

“The ceremony was beautiful.” Genji tells him on the ride from the church to the reception. “I must admit, it was not what I expected.” He smiles. “Zenyatta is always reminding me to be more mindful of my assumptions.”

Jesse laughs and pats his hand. “Fareeha has a knack for thinkin’ outside the box. Drives Satya crazy, but somehow, they make it work.”

“It was very colorful.”

“Took forever for them to agree on those flowers.” He presses his head back into the leather of the seat. The car is nice, with a divider between the front and back. It’s roomy enough that Jesse can stretch out, relax from the strain of running around all day and standing stock straight at the altar for forty-five minutes. There’s a comfortable buzz still in his head. “You havin’ a good time?”

Genji leans back into his own seat, turns his head to face Jesse. It’s achingly intimate- he thinks, if only the angle were different, it’d be like waking up to the best thing ever. “I am enjoying myself, yes.”

“Good.”

* * *

 

The reception hall is airy and open, hot at first but cooling as the sun wanes. Genji has as much of a tolerance as Jesse remembers. They’re on what must be their tenth glass of champagne, and he’s waddling along just fine, a hand tucked into the bend of Jesse’s elbow.

“I cannot wait to take these things off.” He groans, scuffing his shoe on the floor. Jesse chuckles.

“Know the feelin’.” He spots Ana and makes a beeline for her. Genji tugs on his arm. “Now, now. There’s no more avoidin’ it. She’s been real busy with the weddin’ prep but if you don’t meet her before you leave she’ll have my hide.”

The man goes along with a muttered obscenity under his breath. He immediately brightens when they’re in front of Ana, smiling and greeting her congenially. Jesse hides his smile in the rim of his glass. “Ms. Amari, this is Genji.”

“The infamous?” She raises her eyebrows and gives him a once over. Genji squirms against his side. Her stare has always been piercing, the kind that makes one feel as if she’s read all of their tells in one go. “Why, Jesse, you didn’t lie. He’s quite handsome.” She smiles and it goes right to Jesse’s stomach, a nervous tumble that reveals itself in a choking laugh.

“ _Ana_.” He pleads.

“He tells me you are quite the world traveler.” She nods at Genji. “And a religious savant?”

Genji clams up modestly. “I have spent some time with the monks in Nepal, and abroad otherwise, yes.”

“Aw, don’t be humble. He’s been all over, really. Lotta mumbo jumbo about acceptance through immersion I don’t get, but he’s quite the monk himself, don’t let him fool you.”

“I am not! That is a long process that I am too old to begin.” He glares at Jesse. “It is a lifelong commitment.”

He holds up his hands in his defense. “Don’t bite my head off, geez.” Ana laughs, a little too knowingly, and before he can stop her, drags Genji into a conversation that includes one too many embarrassing childhood stories. He might be groaning in mortification every thirty seconds, but he soon feels Genji loosen up beside him and begin laughing along, chatting comfortably.

When Jesse settles a hand at the small of his back, he doesn’t pull away.

* * *

 

Genji finds him in the garden, sneaking a smoke on a bench hidden behind some bushes. He tuts disapprovingly but sits next to him.

“She will smell it on you.”

“Knew introducin’ y’all was gonna be the death of me.” He grins and stubs out the cigarillo on the cobbled footpath. The night is cool and quiet, the stars gorgeous and clear. Jesse finds himself looking at the man beside him.

“Hey,” He bumps his shoulder into Genji’s. He looks at him, tilting his head in acknowledgement. “I thanked you yet?”

Genji smiles. “Yes. You have been quite the gracious host.”

Jesse swallows. “But have I really, really thanked you?” Genji’s smile softens. He rests his hand on Jesse’s; he can’t feel it, but the weight of the gesture carries.

“In your own way.”

Jesse looks at his knees. “How long we known each other now?”

“That would be nearly ten years.” Jesse watches as Genji slots his fingers between his.

Jesse whistles lowly. “Wow.”

“Mm.”

The sounds of the reception carry in the night air, accompanied by the sounds of leaves and wind. Genji’s breathing is a soft, comforting noise beside him.

“Long time to carry a torch for someone.” He laughs a little, at the end of it. Genji’s breath seizes, a moment, but then continues, a soothing inhale-exhale.

“Jesse…”

“I ain’t askin’… for you to reciprocate. Lord knows I’m not. That’d be real selfish. But I spent a lot of time thinkin’, during those years. I was a right fool to let you go. No, that’s not right- I never. I never took that chance on you.” He looks up at Genji, then. “After- my arm, and your accident. I promised myself, if I had a chance again I wasn’t going to waste it. I wasn’t ready then but I- I am now. I ain’t never felt-”

“I love you.” Genji says, quietly. Jesse feels the rest of his words rush out of him in an inaudible gasp, mouth hanging open. Genji’s face is open, smile gone. His eyes feel endlessly warm and deep as he stares at Jesse. He lightly puts his fingers to Jesse’s chin, closing his mouth. The silence stretches and Genji smiles, jokingly presses his fingers (unfeeling, cold from the night air) to Jesse’s pulse.

“Are you alright?”

“You ruined my speech.” He mumbles. Genji chuckles.

“I apologize.”

“Don’t you ever.” Jesse’s voice is soft, softer still as he leans in and kisses the other man. It’s nothing like those heady ones they shared so long ago. Gone is the desperation and the lust, only that greater emotion left in their wake. The thing Jesse had, for so long, tried to deny himself. Genji leans in and up, slides his hand around to the back of Jesse’s neck to hold him close.

They share a breath in the aftermath, faces close, noses touching. Genji presses that ever-present smile against his cheek. “You kiss the same.”

Their moment can only last so long. The sky seems to open up in a heartbeat, letting down a cold rain that plasters Jesse’s hair to his forehead in a mere moment. They run back inside, but they’re already soaked. They’re both laughing when they make it in, dripping on the floors, rain misting in through the open archway.

“We look like drowned rats.” Jesse pushes his hair away from his forehead, product-tacky and slick. Genji is removing his suit jacket, which sticks to his button-up beneath.

“I have never resembled a rodent in my life.” Genji quips cheekily.

The sound of heels on tile meets his ears and Jesse turns. Satya and Fareeha, entwined with each other, approach from the main reception hall. When seen, Fareeha jolts, looking sheepish.

“Tryin’ to sneak away?” He asks. Genji glances around him, coming up close to his side. It warms him in more than one way when he presses against him, arm comfortably pressing against Jesse’s back. It feels like belonging.

Satya smiles, a bit stiffly. “Attempting, but as we have been caught-”

“Nonsense. I won’t be tellin’ anyone.” He curls his own hand around Genji. “Might wanna avoid the garden, though. Late storm out there.”

Fareeha’s face lights up. “How lucky!” She turns to her bride and smiles, besotted. “Would you mind?”

Satya winces, but nods. “For you, beloved.”

Jesse watches them traipse off into the garden, smiling softly. “Ain’t that somethin’? Never seen a couple more different from each other. They make it work real well, huh?” He muses. “Guess opposites do attract.”

“Yes.” Genji says, face pressed against Jesse’s bicep. “It seems they do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHEW! It's done. Some notes I made, in case anyone is interested:
> 
> [1] I tried to incorporate some Japanese etiquette into their general (earlier) interactions, but Jesse is American, so I tried to balance it.  
> [2] Hanafuda is both a card game played in a variety of ways, and the deck with which those games are played. Koi koi is a variation of Hanafuda. It struck me as something Genji would play so I threw it in, but I didn't go into too much detail because (even after playing it and losing it for several hours) it confused me.  
> [3] Pachinko is like slots and pinball's lovechild, except not really? I did less research on this, but again, struck me as something Genji would play. I read that parlor's have unique markers on their pachinko balls to combat using them in other parlors.  
> [4] It does rain (very little) in Iraq, from about November through March. The scene in the fic came right at the tail end of this season, so I figured it was okay to fudge it a little. Plus it's the future, so, artistic liberties.  
> [5] Although I did look into wedding traditions relevant to Fareeha and Satya's cultures, I didn't put too much detail into it because for one, this isn't their story, and for two, I didn't feel confident enough on my grasp of it. In my mind though it was definitely a good compromise between them, probably the more urban/modernized versions (because this is well into the future, and Fareeha is probably half-Canadian.) Although Fareeha is Egyptian, I had it held in Iraq as a shoutout to the Oasis map! (And kinda like they had it somewhere special.)  
> [6] There is a LOT of detail I put into the background behind this AU, but most of it is slipped in subtlely. I hope it carries, but if it doesn't, I do have a rough timeline and more details behind them.


End file.
